North of Prati is a long way from home.

Always remember the Tiber flows south, the Vatican is on the west bank, and the Colosseum is to the east. These cardinal directions will help you avoid traveling the opposite way of home. When forgotten or neglected, you may end up an hour and a half walk from your desired destination. At this point when you ask for directions in your broken Italian, the hotel manager, the garbage man, the diner cashier, and the policeman, will point the opposite direction you have been traveling and say 'Get a taxi, you are a long way from there.' Seeing as you have oriented yourself wisely to this point, it would only make sense that you have money for a taxi. Unbelievably, you do not. Here you begin to power-walk. Here your quads, hamstrings, calves, and other muscles located in the lower extremities begin to ache. Here you know it will be a rough morning. You drank, you got lost, you fell asleep on the living room floor, and that Italian girl gave you her number somewhere along the way.

In the morning, you'll make an egg over easy, and have a slice of toast. You'll feel better, but then again when did you ever stop feeling good. La dolce vita.